What ifs

Silently, he enters the room. His face was blank but it morphs to a smile as he sees the others.

He cozes with the others quickly, laughing as the rest starts to enter the conversation. Soon, the topic’s turned differently from what he started. He blinks, his smile faltering. He laughs, forced as he excuses himself.

He walks away the same way as he entered, silently and by himself.

He walks mindlessly, looking up at some point seeing a familiar person. Their eyes meet. He greets her with a smile.

“Oh, hi.” She says. He asks her to come with him, expending more force than he thinks it would. Her face scrunches in annoyance. He reels back momentarily. He continues convincing her, desperation lacing his tone but she doesn’t notice.

“Mmm.” Her eyebrows furrow before her shoulders slacken. She turns around to his direction.

“Fine, just this once.” She continues talking about nonsensical stuff. He takes comfort in them.


She sits at the far back, making herself busy. Glancing up, she sees her friends gathering for a game.

She wonders if she should join. She looks at the players. Her gaze sticks to one person. It was someone who she was in fault with back in the past.

She looks back down, minding her own business and ignoring the regret at the back of her mind.

“Hey, join us!” She ignores the voice, thinking that they were referring to someone else.

“%*#(@)!” She glances up, seeing the others’ gaze towards her. It was her name. She hesitates, thinking to refuse when her eyes settle on the others making exaggerated gestures at her.

She quirks a smile at their antics as she leaves the comfort of her own place for another.


He leans his face down to the desk, listening to his own music. He ignores the other’s calls as he focuses in his mind.

The music soothes him. Gives him something to focus on other than the problems in the world. He doesn’t want to face them yet. It’s too much for him, right now.

He buries his face further with his arm.

“$#^&#” He looks to the side, seeing her troubled. She talked, trying vainly to defend something silly. The boy beside him only smirks at her attempt. He turns to him, still lying on the desk.

“Right, @)#($?” He removes the earphones from his ears. He asserts his agreements, chuckling as the girl expresses her disappointment at his side.

The time passes with the two boys taking delight with the girl’s varying expressions. One of them feeling relief for a reason he can’t seem to understand.


He’s late, again. Someone grins at him and he smiles back.

He turns his attention to the current seatwork. Occasionally, he talks with his seatmates. He ignores the way his bestfriend remain oddly quiet.

He gulps and plows through the day with a heavy heart.

“Hey, #)*$*%’s telling me he’s gonna join again!” A girl walks up to him with a smile. The girl calls for his bestfriend. His body tenses.

“#)*$*%, you told me this!” The girl still looking at the other, arms crossed. His friend huffs in mock anger at her words.

“I never promised anything.” He replies. The girl turns back to him.

“@($&#@&, try to persuade him!” His gaze momentarily locks to his friend, seeming to have a momentary truce. His body seemed light as he joins with their bickering.


At the end of the day, a lone person smiles. Her mind turns back to the events of the day and wonders what could have happened if she didn’t bother anyone.

She shakes her head and ignores the what-ifs.

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